Monday, October 11, 2010

Is It Really All That Hard?

First of all, let me say that I love this song. The Boys II Men version is beautiful, and I imagine I will always love it. (Here's a link to the original, which is also fantastic.) This song is like a time machine- all of a sudden it's 1992 and I'm standing in the NSHS gym (wearing something simultaneously fabulous and appalling) and I'm fighting back the tears as my classmates perform this song in a choral or talent show, willing the school year never to end and nothing ever to change... It felt so hard back then to imagine that there was life after high school- relationships were just so intense, and there's pressure remember every moment and write lasting and important messages in yearbooks... For years to come this song would make me cry every time I heard it.

Fast forward to 2010. This song came on while I was at work last week (thanks to Beth's sweet playlist). Much to my surprise, I didn't find myself reliving the emotional turmoil of sophomore year, and there were no automatic waterworks. For the first time ever I found myself thinking, "no, actually, it's not that hard." In fact, there are many things about yesterday (and all of the days before it) to which I am more than happy to say goodbye. I've done and said a million stupid things (which, thanks to the lack of social media for most of my life, are mostly forgotten, I hope) and have had plenty of bad experiences, just like everyone else. And I just stood there thinking about how much happier I am with my life now than I have ever been before, and how saying goodbye to all of the past crap that makes me feel bad and/or guilty sounds kind of awesome. Why hadn't this ever occurred to me before? Today is pretty spectacular, and tomorrow promises to be even better! Sure, there are loads of people and good times that I hope I will always remember, but my realisation is this: I might like to reminisce about the past, but I never want to live in it. So goodbye to yesterday, and hello to NOW. (There, now that wasn't all that hard!)

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