Phone Book Day!

I went out to get the mail yesterday (my favourite time of the day- I love mail!), and there was a small pile of wet, plastic bags full of heavy, soggy phone books just waiting to be claimed by residents of our building, who would presumably give them good homes and lovingly blow-dry their sodden pages... The sight of all of those disintegrating phone books brought up a lot of thoughts and questions for me. I'd like to share some of those thoughts with you now and see what you think.

1) I'm sure there's a reason our phone books were delivered on a day when it was raining heavily, but could the people who deliver them perhaps have tried to find a more appropriate location to dump them other than in a heap on the ground beside the mailboxes (where they are not only not under any kind of rain shelter, but pretty close to sitting in puddles)?

2) Printing and delivering millions of phone books seems like a huge waste of paper, ink, plastic (for shoddily protecting them), and petrol (the gas that's used for the massive trucks needed to ship unnecessary quantities of enormous books all over the place). Shouldn't there be some kind of system whereby a person can opt out of (or, better yet, opt into) receiving phone books?

3) Do we need new phone books? We already have some, and we've never even used them. Not even once. I mean, aren't phone books a little bit antediluvian? Does anyone ever even use them anymore? Isn't the Internet easier/better?

4) Who's going to clean up the pile of plastic and pulp that's left by the fence over there in a week or two when the people who live here have all declined to take wet, (arguably useless) books into their homes?

I think that's enough questions. Now for my answers/opinions.

1) Yes. Leaving them in the rain was dumb/lazy. They could easily have been left by our front doors where they would have been more sheltered from the elements, and thus not rendered useless by water damage.

2) I think there should absolutely be a system whereby people who want phone books can tell the companies who print them that, yes, they would like phone books, please. (Or, at the very least, that no, they would not like phone books, please.) According to paperlesspetition.org, the Yellow Pages industry dropped over 540 million phone books in North America in 2006- that's way more than one per person! (In the UK, according to the Yellow Pages website, it was 28.3 million copies in 2006. That's about one for every two people, which is still a lot!) Why so many?! Well, in the olden days when people still had landline telephones, they would automatically receive the Yellow Pages. Now that more people are switching to cell phones, there's no real list of recipients, so they use a system of "saturation distribution" to make sure everyone and his brother/sister/dog/goldfish can get his hands (paws/pectoral fins) on a copy. Also, there can be many different versions in a single market- some people could get as many as 10 different phone books! Also, if Yellow Pages wants to make money, they have to say things like "we have a distribution of 70 gajillion" so that advertisers will fork over the cash to get their ads in there. If people could easily say no to phone books, those numbers would go down; maybe it would be harder to convince advertisers to splash out on pricey half-page ads. Yellow Pages apparently makes 97% of it's revenue ($14 billion in the US in 2006) from printed directories, and only 3% from online ones. That's why there are so many phone books! Some people try to opt of of receiving them, but it's not easy. I read one account of a person who had called the distributor and requested not to be sent any more phone books, but who continued to receive them. When she called to find out what was going on, she was told that the delivery people are given a list of people who do not want to receive the books, but it's so few people (since it's practically impossible to figure out how to make the request in the first place) that it's easier just to deliver them to everyone than to have to check the list. It's really hard to not get phone books. But I say there's got to be a better way. Maybe it could even be a system where you put a card on your doorknob like the "Do Not Disturb" ones at hotels. Yeah, that's it! The week before phone books come out, they could send a postcard out to everyone letting them know when the books would be delivered. That postcard could have one side that says "NO PHONEBOOKS, PLEASE" that you could hang on your door on delivery day. That way nobody has to keep track of addresses, which seems pretty complicated. It would be simple and easy. I am a genius. (I know that sending out millions of postcards seems like a waste of paper, but it's not as bad as millions of giant books, and it's the best I could come up with.)

3) As for the usefulness of phone books, well, I had to give this one the most thought. My first reaction was that they should just stop printing the things, but having considered it a bit more, I'm not so sure that's the way to go. Though some people argue that phone books are antiquated and want to get rid of them (like the good folks over at Paperless Petition), some people still find phone books to be quite useful. You may be surprised to know that although I use the Internet all the time, I am actually one of those people. Okay, sure- it is completely ridiculous to print 540 million copies of something that's going to be outdated almost as soon as it hits the presses. One could argue that if the phone directory were online, it could be easily updated- no need to print another 540 million books in a year's time. Sounds good. But not everyone has access to the Internet. And not everyone wants to/can afford to pay to call for directory assistance when he/she needs to find a phone number. If I needed a plumber, the first place I would look would be in the book. I like the ease of being able to circle the numbers I have called and make notes next to different companies if I'm comparing price quotes. I find that difficult to do with online directories, and I'm a paper person by nature, so I find the phone book easier when I want to find certain things. That said, I would still opt out of receiving new phone books if I had the option. I can sacrifice a little convenience in the name of saving some trees. Besides, most of us have old phone books lying around the house; I'm happy just to use those for a while longer. Surely some of the businesses that existed in 2004 will still be around, right? It's not really life-threatening for me not to have all of the latest listings, is it? But it is life-threatening to a bunch of trees, so I still think I should be able to decide if I get phone books or not. (Please see my brilliant plan under number 2. It works well in this case, too. I don't have to opt out forever. If I feel like my 2004 book isn't cutting it anymore, I can get new ones. But I don't have to. Did I say "genius" already?)

4) Who's going to clean up the mess over there by the mailbox? Well, judging by past experiences with other people's unwanted mail, probably me. Humph. Stupid, useless, wet phonebooks! Grumble, grumble... Maybe after they dry out I can use the pages to make some kind of phone book crafts like the trees and angels people used to make with old Reader's Digests? Hmmm...

So what do you think? Phone books- only good for dinosaurs, or "keep 'em coming; I hate trees!" I'm interested to hear your thoughts!

P.S. There really are penguins coming your way in a post or two- I just really needed to talk about phone books! I'm done now. Thanks for your patience. =)

Canterbury Adventures

It's been a busy winter for us in cold, cold Christchurch! Our friend Jo from the UK (see her guest blog here) came to visit for about a month, rousing us from our state of apartment hibernation! It can be hard to make oneself want to leave the flat in the icy winter, but with the help of thermal underwear, Jo's new winter wardrobe from Glassons, and the promise of lots of coffee and cake at our city's fine cafés, we managed to get ourselves out and about quite a bit!

On Jo's birthday we went for a lovely walk (partly in the snow!) in the Port Hills, which separate Christchurch from Lyttelton Harbour. We walked from the Sign of the Takahe restaurant to the Sign of the Kiwi, a small café on Coronation Hill. From there we got a great view of the Cashmere Valley and of the harbour. All the way along our route there were stunning views of the snow-capped mountains in the distance and the chilly weather was actually perfect for a nice, long walk. Here is a picture of Jo and I at the Sign of the Kiwi.

Later that week we drove through NZ's longest road tunnel (yikes!) to get to Lyttelton, where we met up with our new friend Suzanne who lives there. We did a little shopping at the farmers' market, then Suzanne took us on a beautiful (and steep) walking tour through one of the cemeteries and back down into the town. It was lovely (and tiring). Luckily, I had consumed enough All Blacks Powerade to get me through the day. (I think the flavour is called Silver Charge, but it says All Blacks all over it, so I decided it tasted like All Blacks. They play rugby really well, but I have to warn you- they don't really taste all that great, especially when warm. I'm definitely more of a Gatorade girl.) Lyttelton, incidentally, is where Peter Jackson shot The Frighteners and where Joe Bennett, the guy who wrote this book I just read about underpants lives. (It was a really good book. You should read it.) Here's a picture of Lyttelton.

We (literally) took the scenic route home from Lyttelton, skipping the tunnel and instead heading over the hills to Sumner, where we ate fish & chips on a bench on the beach promenade. (Jo had the fish; G and I had the chips. We found that the three of us are a lot like that nursery rhyme about Jack Sprat. We make a good team.) Jo had two thumbs up for the yummy snack, but Gordon was distracted by something to the right over there. Was it a bird? A plane? A guinea pig playing soccer? A seven-year-old gymnast doing five press handstands? We may never know...

We're really happy that Jo came to see us; we had a great time! There are more posts to come about our fascinating adventures, so stay tuned! There will be penguins! =)

Joss Made Me Do It

Voila! The teaser for Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, the new and exciting series from Joss Whedon, starring Doogie Howser MD and Captain Mal Reynolds from Firefly. Joss told me (and everyone else who can read) to spread the word about Dr. Horrible, so I am. When Joss says "jump," I say "to what planet?" And seeing as how he's a far better writer than myself, I'll let him explain the master plan, which I stole from the official Dr. Horrible website.

A LETTER FROM JOSS WHEDON

Dear Friends,

At last the time has come to reveal to you our Master Plan. BEWARE! Those with weak hearts should log off lest they be terrified by the twisted genius of our schemes! Also pregnant women and the elderly should consider reading only certain sentences. Do not mix with other blogs. Do not operate heavy machinery while reading this blog. You must be this tall to read. ‘Kay?

It is time for us to change the face of Show Business as we know it. You know the old adage, “It’s Show Business – not Show Friends”? Well now it’s Show Friends. We did that. To Show Business. To show Show Business we mean business. (Also, there are now other businesses like it.)

ONE WEEK ONLY! AN INTERNET MINISERIES EVENT!

"Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog" will be streamed, LIVE (that part’s not true), FREE (sadly, that part is) right on Drhorrible.com, in mid-July. Specifically:

ACT ONE (Wheee!) will go up Tuesday July 15th.

ACT TWO (OMG!) will go up Thursday July 17th.

ACT THREE (Denouement!) will go up Saturday July 19th.

All acts will stay up until midnight Sunday July 20th. Then they will vanish into the night, like a phantom (but not THE Phantom – that’s still playing. Like, everywhere.)

And now to answers a few Frequently (soon to be) Asked Questions:

1) Why, Joss? Why? Why now, why free, why us?

Once upon a time, all the writers in the forest got very mad with the Forest Kings and declared a work-stoppage. The forest creatures were all sad; the mushrooms did not dance, the elderberries gave no juice for the festival wines, and the Teamsters were kinda pissed. (They were very polite about it, though.) During this work-stoppage, many writers tried to form partnerships for outside funding to create new work that circumvented the Forest King system.

Frustrated with the lack of movement on that front, I finally decided to do something very ambitious, very exciting, very mid-life-crisisy. Aided only by everyone I had worked with, was related to or had ever met, I single-handedly created this unique little epic. A supervillain musical, of which, as we all know, there are far too few.

The idea was to make it on the fly, on the cheap – but to make it. To turn out a really thrilling, professionalish piece of entertainment specifically for the internet. To show how much could be done with very little. To show the world there is another way. To give the public (and in particular you guys) something for all your support and patience. And to make a lot of silly jokes. Actually, that sentence probably should have come first.

2) What happens when it goes away? Does it go to a happy farm for always like Fluffy did when mommy was crying and the neighbor kept washing his fender?

No, Dr horrible will live on. We intend to make it available for download soon after it’s published. This would be for a nominal fee, which we’re hoping people will embrace instead of getting all piratey. We have big dreams, people, and one of them is paying our crew.

And somewhat later, we will put the complete short epic out on DVD – with the finest and bravest extras in all the land. We’ll go into greater detail about that at Comiccon, but we’re changing the face of Show Friendliness a second time with that crazy DVD.

3) Joss, you are so kind, and generous, and your forehead is like, huge, like SCARY, like I think I can see Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint hanging off it… what can WE do to help this musical extravanganza?

What you always do, peeps! What you’re already doing. Spread the word. Rock some banners, widgets, diggs… let people know who wouldn’t ordinarily know. It wouldn’t hurt if this really was an event. Good for the business, good for the community – communitIES: Hollywood, internet, artists around the world, comic-book fans, musical fans (and even the rather vocal community of people who hate both but will still dig on this). Proving we can turn Dr Horrible into a viable economic proposition as well as an awesome goof will only inspire more people to lay themselves out in the same way. It’s time for the dissemination of the artistic process. Create more for less. You are the ones that can make that happen.

Wow. I had no idea how important you guys were. I’m a little afraid of you.

4) Joss, do you ever answer a question simply or coherently?

Shledzguohn?

There’ll be more questions, and more long, long answers, but for now I’m just excited that we’re actually making this happen. We (and a lot of other people -- gushing to commence soon) worked very hard on the show and we hope/think you guys will be pleased.

Until July 15th , I remain, yours truly, -j, of the firm j, j, m & z.

So there you have it! I hope everyone will join in and log on to enjoy the sing-along hilarity!

Ridiculously Cute!

Kitties. Sooooo cute. I wish I could have one of my very own to squeeze, but that would involve living in a country for more than a year at a time. Hmph. I lieu of that, I present to you some of my favoourite "lolcats" from I Can Has Cheezburger- perhaps the most adorable site on the entire interwebz. (Kass turned me on to it- she has a nose for cuteness!) Here you goez!

And the cutest of them all...

Sometimes I Read

I used to read constantly as a kid. When I sat on Santa’s lap at the Ohio Valley Mall, every year I asked for the same thing for Christmas- books. (I’m sure there were additional items on my list, but none come to mind except for Fruity Pebbles cereal.) Now, I’m not saying I was demanding Dickens or anything- at age 10 it was mostly Sweet Valley Twins and The Babysitter’s Club for me; I absolutely adored them! I begged and pleaded with my poor mom to get the newest ones as they were released- she must have spent a fortune at B. Dalton, but I had to have them! I’m sure I read at least 30 or 40 of each series, and a lot of those were read and re-read. When I found these pictures of the original cover art on Amazon, I was blown away by the flood of memories they brought back! Not memories of me as a skinny, nerdy kid with no friends, but memories of Sweet Valley, where Jessica joined the Unicorn Club with Lila Fowler, and where Elizabeth redecorated her room in navy blue and beige, and of Stoneybrook, where the Babysitter’s Club met at Claudia’s house and talked about their “charges” and Kid-Kits and wrote a journal about their experiences… I got totally lost in those worlds, and I remember so many of the details! It’s amazing how things like that can still be lodged in my brain after 20 years! I can barely remember what I had for breakfast, but I can still conjure these vivid scenes of an imaginary middle school from the 80’s… I continued my love affair with literacy all through middle school, when I tried to go through the entire fiction section of the school library in alphabetical order. (I didn’t succeed, don’t worry. I’m not a total freak.) I especially loved Ellen Conford, Mabel Esther Allan, and Paul Zindel. Sadly, though, high school hit and books all but disappeared from my life. My reading habit has never fully recovered. As an adult I’ve gone through a few periods of heavy reading, but they’ve been pretty short-lived, and even then it’s been more non-fiction than anything else. In the last couple weeks I have read four fiction books (I’m pretty proud of myself) and I’m starting to realize how much I’ve really missed it! I miss fiction! I just finished The Jane Austen Book Club about an hour ago (it wasn't earth-shattering, but it held my interest), and I’m going to make an effort to keep this little bookworm ball rolling by diving right into something new tonight! I’ve got a few books on the shelf waiting to be read, but when those are done I’ll be looking for suggestions, so if you’ve just read something fantastic, please leave me a note in the comments! Gotta run! It’s time to go get cozy with a cup of tea and a new adventure! See you at the library! =)

Word of Mouth

I have been tagged! I think that makes me some kind of official member of the blogosphere. What are tags and how do they work? Well, I'm not entirely sure, but it seems to me that they are a way for your friends with blogs to make you write about whatever they want, presumably because they think you are a gifted writer and value your opinions on the topics they have selected. (But maybe it's really because they know you're too lazy to write your blog at all unless publicly asked to do so, and then linking to it, so you can't get out of it without everyone knowing! Tricky...) So, I am honoured, of course, to have been tagged on Kass's 3rd Word of Mouth post. This means that it's my turn to think of things I enjoy and recommend them to you, the public at large. =) So here goes! =)

A classic. I used to use this as a kid because my mom always had it around. It came in a big ol' plastic tub with a screw-off lid that I could almost stick my whole 8-year-old paw into if my mom wasn't around to see it. ;) My mom eventually moved on to (inferior) Neutrogena face products, and so did I. (While I don't like their soap, I have to say that T-Gel is my hero. I would have it on my cereal if it wouldn't make me throw up.) In my teens and twenties I branched out to all different face products, and even fell for the hype and ordered that (also inferior) Proactiv stuff that Jessica Simpson is always peddling on tv. But now I'm back where I started! I looove this stuff! It leaves my skin all soft and nice, doesn't make me break out, smells good, isn't too pricey, and isn't tested on any of our furry friends, so what's not to like? =)

Who woulda thunk it? I like modern fiction! Those of you who know my reading preferences would likely be surprised that I should deign to read anything not written before 1900... Really, anyone current enough to have had access to a typing device (aside from Barbara Kingsolver) is inconsequential as far as my literary habits are concerned. (I'm not saying it's right; I'm just stating the facts.) But Gordon left this one out on the table and I read it. I don't know why I never listen when he tells me there are good authors under 100 years old, but I should. (I hope he doesn't think I'm one of them- if he reads this I'll surely be eating my words!) Anyhow, this book was very good. =) It had interesting, believeable characters, the writing was really smart and very funny, and there were many mentions of office supplies. Definitely recommended.

Man! How is this show still so good? It's nothing short of brilliant! I remember watching it with my mom on tv the first time around and loving every episode, especially the ones with lots of Ed Chigliak. I love that guy! My adoration for the show (and Ed) was shared by my penpal Donna who even sent me a pocket-size Northern Exposure notebook, which I'm pretty sure I still have somewhere. Gordon and I have been watching the series again on DVD recently, and it hasn't lost anything over time. Okay, maybe the jeans are a little high-waisted, and the music on the DVD's is nowhere near as good as the original music, but it's still just great. First thing on my list when we return to Washington is a weekend trip to Roslyn, where it was filmed. I know we won't run into Ed, but we can still go to The Brick for a brewski!

Pigs. I'd like to recommend pigs. I'm not sure for what, but definitely not for eating. Pigs are friends, not food! Here is a picture of me with my friend Edgar from Best Friends Animal Society in Utah. He is very, very cute and does not enjoy romaine lettuce. I kinda feel like pigs don't get the respect they deserve. I mean, people are always on about how other animals (like dogs) are so great (and they are- look at cute Rockford), but if we're grading on intelligence and personality, pigs are actually smarter than dogs, and just as playful and loyal. (They're even smarter than 3-year-old humans.) They know what's going on. I know of at least one person who really appreciates pigs- Judy, the founder of Pigs Peace Sanctuary. Such a cool lady and an awesome organisation. Go check it out- hooray for pigs! =)

Lastly, I'd like to recommend Google Reader, my new best friend. There must be other programs like this out there, but I'm a big fan of Google because they make everything so easy for those of us who are maybe not-so-techy. So I subscribe to all of my favourite blogs, and then I never have to look for them again- I just sign in to Reader and it tells me if any of them have been updated and shows them to me right there on the same screen! It's like subscribing to the newspaper and only getting the sections you like to read! Brilliant! =) Try it- you'll like it! =)

I hope these suggestions have been useful! I'm tagging everyone!!! Every last one of you! Now, go forth and recommend stuff! =) (Okay, I kid. But you could always recommend your favourite things in the comments!)

Ruggers!

We went to see the rugby last night- my first rugby match ever! =) It was New Zealand playing England at AMI Stadium here in Christchurch. (For those of you who don't know, New Zealand's national team, the All Blacks, are arguably the best team in the world. I get the impression that all of the other teams are really scared of them. If you saw how big some of those dudes are, you'd probably be scared of them, too.) It was freezing, but I was wearing so many layers of fleece I couldn't bend my arms, so I was pretty comfy. Things started out a little weird- there was a marching band and fireworks and a couple of people in military uniforms riding around in a jeep and singing songs we couldn't really understand- it was strange. But then came the choir to sing the national anthems, which were great, and then the haka, the traditional Maori dance they perform at the beginning of each match. I love the haka! It's a ceremonial dance to mentally prepare the team for the match. The other team usually stands there and tries to look bored or unaffected even though they're more likely shaking in their rugby boots! It was really cool to see it live! (Leave it to me to be most impressed by the dancing portion of a sporting evening!) Anyhow, the game itself was excellent. =) New Zealand pretty much trounced England- the final score was 44-12, which didn't really surprise anyone. In fact, I don't think any of the English fans even noticed- they all continued to drunkenly sing really loud, out-of-tune songs (as they are wont to do) in the streets after the match was over. (They love to sing Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. What's that all about anyway?) It was a little bit hard to tell what was happening in the match at times without the commentators (even when there are commentators I sometimes don't get it!) so Gordon had to explain a lot of what was going on. I also took a few cues from the French guy sitting right behind us- any time something went wrong for the All Blacks he would say "Oh la la!" really loud and Frenchily. There were a few more Frenchies around- I overheard at least a couple of others. They really love the ruggers in France, especially the All Blacks! I heard somewhere that they actually sell more All Blacks merchandise in France than anywhere else in the world. So, who are my favourites, you ask? Well, my long-time favourite is Rodney So'oialo (seen above with Joe Rokocoko in a picture I borrowed from apdz07 on flickr. He's the one with the dreads). He is a large, muscley Samoan guy who has great hair that flops around while he crushes his opponents. Then there's everyone's favourite, Dan Carter, who looks quite a bit like Superman and who models underwear in his spare time. Here he is on the right looking very superheroic. =) My new favourite, though, is cute Ma'a Nonu (below)- you've gotta admire his skills and his awesome neon dreads and tattoos! Here he is scoring a try in last night's match. (You can watch videos of Ma'a in action with fantastic soundtrack music by Lovage here and by Wax Tailor here.) At the end of the match we watched as all of the players shook hands and congratulated each other in a very sportsmanlike way. Then some of the All Blacks signed autographs for people and took pictures with kids in the crowd. =) They seem like very nice guys, despite looking like large, angry warriors! I was really impressed by their willingness to interact with the fans and media and to be so accommodating after 80 minutes of running and getting smashed around and all of that. =) It was a great kiwi experience! =) Now that I can officially call myself a fan, I can't wait to see the match against South Africa in a couple of weeks! =) Go AB's! =)